Does Jesus Care?

Summer 2012 ~ I'd rather not repeat this one ... full to overflowing with significant difficulties. Actually not just this summer, but well into last year. Death of a brother-in-law, note from our prodigal saying never to contact her again, unexpected marriage of a son, another mini-stroke for my husband, bullying at school to the nth degree for our youngest, suspected cancer (praise God not full-blown), and now 96-year-old Mom-in-love hospitalized after a fall and fracture.

Have you endured weeks, months, years like this? Some ask, "Does Jesus care?"

If I truly believe God's Word and promises, then I know He's planned the ultimate good for us all. Does that make these situations easier? In one way, no. In another, yes. Pain is pain, and grief is grief. Yet, knowing God goes through this with us and understands what we endure, comforts and gives hope.

A hymn that helped us this week is Does Jesus Care? written by Frank E. Graeff in 1901. May these words lift you also.

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained too deeply for mirth or song,

As the burdens press, and the cares distress, and the way grows weary and long?

Does Jesus care when my way is dark with a nameless dread and fear?

As the daylight fades into deep night shades, does He care enough to be near?

Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed to resist some temptation strong;

When for my deep grief there is no relief, though my tears flow all the night long?

Does Jesus care when I’ve said “goodbye”to the dearest on earth to me,

And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks~Is it aught to Him? Does He see?

Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares.

His heart is touched with my grief;

When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,

I know my Savior cares.

Work vs. Passion

Photo by Jess Kvarta

My husband, son, and I attended an all-day conference Saturday where doctors, researchers, and families with neurofibromatosis types 1 & 2 ~(NF, for short) came together to learn what's the latest help for those afflicted with this genetic disease. NF changed our son's summer when he was admitted for surgery to have one of its "affects" removed. We know other tumors may require future surgeries.


I was particularly taken aback when a research doctor announced a breakthrough in the form of a clinical trial for a drug that seems to shrink NF tumors ~ #15 in the long list of ones studied over the past decades. Simply put, that means 14 others failed to show such promise up until this one.

I thought of all the years dedicated to finding a cure or at least a help for thousands affected by NF. What drove researchers to stay with it? Funding? The fact that this is their work and they get paid for it? Rewards for their efforts? Perhaps, but I saw in this woman a passion for her work. Imagine studying 14 drugs (a full clinical trial takes up to 20 years) and finally finding one with promise!

Then I thought about work and ministry, in particular. There are years my husband and I have served on the U.S. mission field with seemingly small results. Then after a dry spell we might see a few who accept Jesus as Savior and hunger to know Him better. Yet my husband not only "works" but has a passion to reach people for Jesus Christ. So we become weary and sometimes discouraged, yet we don't quit.

I've worked on a memoir for more than a decade. The writing and editing are grueling at times. And when my editor sends back the manuscript with more marks than I can count, I cry. Real tears. Then I begin again, trying to see how this work can be better ~ driven by my passion to write well.

Work is one thing, but passion quite another. Some go to work each day and "just do their job." Others pour theirs hearts into the task ~ for pay or not ~ and burn to do it well. When the two are intertwined, then hope is born out of each failure.

A researcher seeing promise after 14 failed tries. My husband discipling a handful of saved souls after telling multitudes the Gospel. And a lover of writing who wants to share her story in the way that most pleases her God. All have a passion for this work set before us.

My prayer for you this day? May your work and passion be so intertwined that you press on to see it completed. May what you do for eternal value make the trials worth going through. If your work is done for the Savior, then "He Who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 ESV

Worth Living ~ Worth Dying ~ Part 2

If a nation's ideals are worth dying for, how much more important are the people who make up that nation ~ or all the nations, for that matter? We sent men and women to war to preserve our freedoms and liberties, and those who volunteer to serve know full well they may pay the ultimate price.

God loved this world (people) so much that He sent His only Son to die for us. (John 3:16) Why did Jesus have to die? Our sin. God said in the Old Testament that blood had to be shed as forgiveness of sin. He provided a way for that through the sacrifice of lambs. But then again the ultimate sacrifice comes into the picture. Lamb's blood had to be shed repeatedly.

God had a once-for-all plan before the beginning of time, knowing we'd fail. Fulfilled how? He would die for the sins of us all. But God is spirit, and spirit doesn't have blood. So He did what only God could do and sent a part of Himself (not a piece ~ God the Son) to the world through Mary. And because God the Son, named Jesus, came through a human line, He became the ultimate Blood-sacrifice.

Willing to die because we were worth living? Hard for me to comprehend God loving me enough to do this. Jesus faced agony going to the cross and even more agony on it. Yet He was obedient to God the Father and sacrificed for the sins of us all. Wow.

I've thought a lot about being willing to die so someone else can live. I say to myself I'd do that. But, if the situation called for that, would I truly die for someone else? I don't know. I think I'd die for someone I loved, like my husband or children. I also figure it would be easier to say I'd do this for someone who loved me as much. But die for who-knows-who, a person who doesn't care about me, God, or even him/herself? Hmm.

Yet God did this. "For one will scarcely die for a righteous person ~ though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die ~ but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:7,8 ESV

We're worth living? God thinks so and proved it. And not only did Jesus give the ultimate sacrifice, He rose again! May my life make His dying known to others who have yet to know their lives are worth the living.

Worth Living ~ Worth Dying

If something is worth preserving, it's also worth dying for. Such is true of our country. Some attack our freedom. How can men of power crush what shed blood preserved, cheapening the mission of those who've fought, been wounded, and given the ultimate sacrifice? I cannot comprehend this.

America: 236 years young. It's lived a good life, suffered periods of harm, and sickened by means of immoral, godless beings who say, "Let her die. She's had a good life. She's old and not worth much. What need have we of her?"

No! I, for one, am not willing to think our fathers, sons and countless other troops fought in vain for liberty. There's another element to this fight to keep our United States alive and well. This lies in the hands of the believers. A nation is only as strong as its faith, destined to fail without God. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I promise to pray for my country and to implore God to have mercy on us when our leaders fail to seek true Wisdom.

Those who love our God, cry out to Him in this seemingly hopeless time. He has promised "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

We're wounded but not dead, and we're worth the living. God shed His grace on us. May God again have reason to bless America!

"The Weaver"

So much of this week's news devastates. In times like these it's easy to become overwhelmed by nature's havoc and man's blunders. Yet God is in control. I know this because I know Him. Still, looking about me I can easily forget He has a plan. After all, one of our sons and his wife live in Colorado Springs. My mind and heart ache for them and all who wait for that disaster to end.

No, I do not attribute raging wildfires and flooding halfway around the world to God. Nor do I think the mind of man always seeks His wisdom before making decisions that affect us all. The prince of the power of the air ~ the devil ~ destroys and has his way. Yet God allows. Why? I don't know. I only know God is God, and He has a plan. He can make beauty out of ashes ~ even in the lives of us all.

The Weaver

By Grant Colfax Tullar

My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me.

I cannot choose the colors He worketh steadily.

Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper and I, the underside.

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful Hand

As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

All of us go through good, joyful times as well as the much harder ones. Until we reach Heaven, we cannot see "the completed tapestry." So for today, trust the Weaver. Even when the enemy tries to devastate, God is sovereign ... and one day, believer, we will understand it all.

God ~ My Under-Rower

The lady pictured is Murlene. She held a national record ~ the longest living Canadian with cancer. What a record. This dear servant of the Most High God struggled several decades with the dreaded disease and did so with grace and joy. Did she tire along the way? To be sure. Yet look at her smile. This was the Murlene we knew and loved. This month she went to Heaven.

I attended a mission-sponsored learning-styles seminar back in the mid-1990s, and Murlene was there. When the instructor asked us to complete the sentence "God is my...", many of the missionaries volunteered answers like Refuge, Strong Tower, Help, Best Friend, Savior, and more. But we were all taken aback when Murlene spoke with confidence, "God is my Under-Rower."

This dear lady explained that in biblical times slaves were chained in the belly of the ship's bottom-most tier and rowed to the beat of a drum. These men had the most difficult task of plowing oars through the water's depths "three-stories" under. Although they received no recognition and knew they could well die at their posts, these men were essential.

Those of us who knew all Murlene endured understood the depth of that statement. And her Under-Rower carried her through another decade plus of cancer until He carried her Home. But there's more I'd like you to know about this precious sister in Christ. She became our under-rower.

Three months after that learning styles seminar began the toughest period in our lives. Our 16-year-old daughter ran away from home, she accused us of child abuse, department of social services tried to take all our children away, our to-be-adopted special-needs son nearly faced deportment, and much of our church leadership (and ones we thought were friends) turned their backs on us. To this day I cannot fully express in words the horror of those nightmare years.

We shared this pain with our mission board, and they put us on the prayer chain. Several wrote to us, but the most poignant letters we received were from Murlene who expressed her deep sorrow at all the pain we were going through and said she wished she could take that pain and carry it for us.


Wow. When my husband and I read this, we wept. What kind of servant ~ one who suffers every minute she breathes ~ says she'd do this for us if she could? An under-rower ~ one who knows the importance of having someone in your life who will carry you across the rough sea when you cannot travel it yourself. Murlene would bless us with several more letters over those turbulent years.


Thank You, God, for being Murlene's Under-Rower and, in turn, her being that to us. Lord and Savior, thank You for taking on the form of a servant and coming to this earth to die for our sins so that we could be adopted into Your family. And thank you for going through the rough waters with us and rowing when we have no strength to do so. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Our A-Typical God

Last month doctors discovered our son had a grapefruit-sized tumor under his kidney. Tests before surgery didn't alleviate our fears. The PET scan showed an active tumor, most often associated with cancer. Our son has neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1), a genetic tumor-growing disease, and this mass was a result of that. These particular tumors are transformers and often become cancerous.

We waited three hours before our son's surgeon approached us in the waiting area. There he told us our son's mass was an a-typical NF1 tumor ~ that most of these tend to spread tentacles into other areas, making them much harder to remove. Our son's had not done this. "It was as if it were all patted into a neat ball-like object," the surgeon shared. As he demonstrated with his hands, one question came to mind.

Had God cupped Min's tumor in His Hands and commanded, "you aren't going anywhere"? This is what this "nicely" formed, a-typical growth meant to me. I believe God chose to do that. Not only did He command that mass to stay put, but He also surprised us with the amazing news that the tumor, although precancerous, hadn't developed into full-blown cancer. How we praise our God!

I've heard the term a-typical before in our family's medical journeys. I've come to think of this as a God-description, not unlike the word "miracle." Truly the one who formed the world in His Hands and scooped up clay and breathed life into it could very well have ordered that awful tumor to stop. He's been known to command the elements, and even the wind obeyed.

Although the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of shock, exhaustion, and more, we thank God for being the Miracle-worker ~ God of the a-typical ~ One we can trust even when facing threat of cancer. It's likely we'll take this same journey again, as our son has other plexiform neurofibromas. May we remember what the Great Physician has done and continue to place our son in His Hands.