Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Sunday, February 19, 2012

"Welcome To Holland"

Photo by Dave Bothwell
The most poignant piece I've ever read on raising a disabled child (originally published in a 1987 Dear Abby column) hung on our son's special education preschool bulletin board. I've seen it multiple times since and still love the concept.

It's author, Emily Perl Kingley, mom of a Down's syndrome son, writes of the parent's planned vacation to Italy~buying guide books, thrilling at the thought of seeing the art, architecture, and wonder of the Italy.

When the plane lands, however, the stewardess announces "Welcome to Holland."

What? Major mistake! This plane was supposed to land in Italy! Now the parent's stuck in Holland. Yet the pilot hasn't taken her to a horrible place, just a different one. So now she needs new guidebooks and must learn phrases in another language. There are people she'd never planned to meet in this slower-paced, not-so-fancy country.

"But after you've been there for a while...you begin to notice that Holland has windmills ... tulips ... Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and ... bragging about what a wonderful time they had ... the rest of your life you will say, 'Yes, that's ... what I had planned.' And the pain of that experience will never ... go away ... but if you spend your life mourning ... you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special ... lovely things about Holland." ~EPK

The "Welcome To Holland" metaphor fits more than parenting special needs kids. I believe it applies to most types of loss. Dreams die, and that hurts. But this takes us on paths we never planned. And along those we may just trade "...beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..." (Isaiah 61:3)

Next week I'll post a "Welcome To Holland" experience my husband and I shared. In the meantime, here's a link to the entire essay* by Mrs. Kingsley: http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

*I'm unable to post the whole essay due to copyright restrictions, but I encourage you to read it as the author meant it to be.